Years Down the Road

I don’t really know how long I’ve been sitting here…

Mugu Rock…

Some girl snapped me out it it “Hey you want to share a smoke?” I thought she wanted a cigarette but she busted out a little baggy… Turns out she needed some papers… Or a pipe I suppose.

So…

I told her no thank you, I just don’t partake, but gave her a cigarette and told her she could roll and shake the tobacco out and stuff it with her dope…

I wound up doing it for her…

Weird, I hadn’t done that for a while… A really long while… And now my fingers smell like dope.

She wanted to sit in my car but “You’re going to have to smoke this somewhere else… Makes me ill and I don’t think my sweetheart would appreciate me letting you sit in her spot”…

She wandered off…

I hollered after her “Careful… Lot of creeps hang out here.”

… Whatever.

Mugu Rock… Popular place to puke up Friday night cocktails imported from down south, but this is still where I sit to think, rotting leather on the steering wheel getting sticky from the ocean air… Probably rusting the car as well.

Thinking…

I had this “life”… Good, bad indifferent it was a “life” and I walked away from it about a year ago… I didn’t know it at the time, had no point of reference as it were, but it was killing me and it had damn near finished me off.

No point of reference… What a fucked up thing… Not knowing what is what or what it’s all really worth… I am better off for it and I Know that… Going from bad to good, fake to real… I have that experience now.

Most unfortunate… I cannot give that experience in a meaningful way to anyone that doesn’t have “a point if reference”… By the time anyone learns from a mistake, it’s almost always too late… All of the times I looked back and said “I wish I had listened”… You can’t save anyone from that, can you?

Speaking of too late, I’m tired have to get out of here while I am still alert enough to drive.

… I hope that stoned chick didn’t fall off the cliff.