Prologue: There had been this 1965 Volkswagen sitting in the shop for a couple of months… The Boss was supposed to be working on it and as is his custom he was lagging.  It was typical Wednesday at the hellhole but I was very exited because it looked like the nasty bug was well on it’s way to being done and when the nasty little air cooled engine was ready to to be moved from it’s resting place on top of a flipped 25 gallon drum to the jack on the floor for instillation I was happy to help… God, was this thing finally going to finished and gotten the hell out of the way?

 Prologue Part II: So… The boss got on one side and I grabbed the other… Now, I know how to lift so I was sure to be bolt upright however… In taking a step back to walk this little wonder of German engineering to the jack I suddenly felt this sensation like someone put a cigarette out on my spine… Yikes!!!  WTF???… Well I couldn’t just drop the thing on my boss so I toughed it out and carefully lowered the hunk of engine to the jack.

Prologue Part III: I spent the next 4 days flat on my back… I went to work on Monday… Well sort of… And then spent another couple of days flat on my back.

Prologue Part IV: This went on for the better part of a month… Down the rabbit hole…  Worker’s Compensation here we go.

  This measly article is pieced together from the little bits I’ve writing here and there… I can only sit for about 10 minutes at a time before it feels like I’m having my spine ripped out of my sphincter so please forgive the lack of cohesiveness.

Doctors and Other Quackery

 

I have a deep distrust of the medical profession, so deep is my distrust in fact, some would say I’m paranoid but I think I have good reasons to be.

Having been a Mechanic for 30 years, I’ve witnessed many of my colleagues go for surgeries and other treatments for work related injuries and pretty much every single one is still just as jacked up if not worse than before getting cut into or jabbed in the spine with some wonder drug epidural.

The Quack-O-Practor

This getting old and falling apart thing sucks ass and for the most part I just try to ignore it and tough it out because for one thing I’m not a sissy and for another I don’t trust MD’s… Along comes this lower back thing I just can’t ignore… You see, I never got the memo about VW Air cooled engines weighing a metricfuckton more today than they did 15 or 20 years ago and to my great surprise and dismay I blew my lower back RTF out.  So I’ve been missing a bunch of work and as a last ditch effort to avoid a workman’s comp claim my bosshole has sent me to a Quack-O-Practor.

 

  The first thing I encountered at this Chiropractors office were stairs…

Quite a few of them…

That was bothersome because in my thinking this demonstrated an acute lack of  forethought, I mean, what’s about on the top of the list of things someone with a spinal injury can’t really do?  I’m sure climbing stairs is someplace up there…
So I manage to drag my sorry ass up the crooked stairs and into this office… There I am looking at this guys degree from some college I’ve never heard of and he’s telling me all about Subluxation, Alignment, Nerves, blah blah blah…

At any rate he gets me on this wonky table apparatus and starts rubbing me all over with some kind of secret sauce then he got me all twisted up like a pretzel then starts jumpin’ on me…

Mother****** like to about squeezed my left kidney out then winds me up the other way and tried to rupture my spleen.

Then he tried to break my neck… No kidding.I don’t know if I feel any better, but I’m glad I survived the beating.

Doctors Are Not Right in the Head

So… Over the course of several weeks now it has come to the point where not only can I not sit or stand, I now can’t really walk… Calls were made, faxes were faxed and workman’s comp papers were filled out. There was exactly one health care provider listed and a quick search on the Google showed nobody was very happy with this place, an “Occupational Medical Group” located in an industrial complex on the wrong side of town…

 

 Doctors are the third leading cause of death in the United States killing as many as 225,000 patients every year. There is a certain intellectual narcissism that comes with a pH D I find very annoying and disturbing but what really scares me is that just below the surface of this high and mighty demeanor is often someone who is batshit insane.

Having spent about an hour and a half leaning against a wall in the waiting room of this occupational health clinic, trying not to pass out or throw up from the pain, my name was called and I limped along behind the 5’2″ 300 pound nurse down this maze of hallways where she demanded I get naked and put on this assless teddy and lay down on the table… Thankfully even though I was 100%  incapacitated by this point she didn’t violate me, she just split and told me the doctor would be in shortly.

The better part of an hour later Josef Mengele walked in and told me I had Spinal Reticulosis. I asked him ” how do you know that?” He said I had all the symptoms.

Then I asked him how he knew it was Spinal Reticulosis (whatever the hell that is) and not a skewer shoved up my ass by the interdimensional ghouls?…

This got him to look up from the file.

 He said “Is there something stuck in your back?”. I told him I couldn’t turn that far to see,  but perhaps he should take a look being a doctor and all… He sent me for X-rays.

  After they were done irradiating me, Mengele came back in and told me I could get dressed and that he was giving me prescription for Mobic (an anti inflammatory) and wanted to see me back there in a week he turned on his heel and started to leave… I said “whoa hang on for a second”.

 I asked him What kind of side effects does this Mobydick pill have?

He read from a list:  “Diarrhea, constipation, gas, sore throat, cough, runny nose, fever, blisters, rash, hives, itching, welling of the eyes, face, tongue, lips, throat, arms, hands, feet, ankles, or lower legs,difficulty breathing or swallowing, hoarseness, pale skin, fast heartbeat, unexplained weight gain, nausea, excessive tiredness, lack of energy, yellowing of the skin or eyes, pain in the right upper part of the stomach, flu-like symptoms, cloudy, discolored, or bloody urine, difficult or painful urination and back pain.”  … Wait, WTF… Back Pain?

A remarkable comment from a reader :

OK, this is a bit wordy, so I apologize in advance, but I assure you that it’s worth a read if it works for you ( It worked for me & MANY others… all it requires is some creative ingenuity & an open mind!)

I’m by no means a qualified Dr. I am however ‘batshit crazy’, so I feel more than qualified to make a suggestion which worked for me. It’s a bit outside of the box(somehow, having read your blog articles, I don’t think that will cause to much internal conflict for you though)but VERY effective!
I not only had a VERY serious back injury thanks to a moonlight ride on my quad, which resulted in a nasty roll over out in the middle of the Mojave desert. Alone and ‘broken’ I laid there for hours before my buddies realized that something must be wrong.

Watch a video called “Run from the cure”. It’s a video which goes into great detail regarding the uses and proper porduction methods of a cannabis oil. When taken in small amounts, it is a powerful pain reliever, will NOT cause withdrawl symptoms when use discontinued, wont make you crazy and just might solve other issues which you may have formerly thought were ‘incurable’.
I can personally attest to the validity of much of the claims made in this video. I do have one small issue with the prodection method however. Do NOT use propyl alcohol as your solvent ( Read up on Dr. Hulda Clark for reasoning behind this… ). You can use grain alcohol instead. A tiny amount, about the size of a grain of rice is all you need, several times a day (or as needed) and you’ll find yourself in less or no pain very quickly.

I initially found out about this herbal medicine because I was diagnosed with cancer and with no insurance, I was treated like a ‘walking black plague’ when I walke d thru the doors of a Dr’s. office. After nearly a year dpent slowly dying before my families eyes, I was considering suicide to spare them (and myself) any more pain… then one day, I stumbled across the video I mentioned above… It changed my life! After a few months of taking the oil, I had new scans done and had my blood count tested again to see where things stood.
I felt a difference IMMEDIATELY after beginning the oil treament. That wasn’t enough though, I needed to know if the cancer was gone. Scans were taken, money exchanged at the medi-lab (to the ridiculous tune of $1200!) and the results were ASTOUNDING! The cancer was GONE!

Fast forward to me laying on a broken cholla cactus with a greasewood up my a$$… I knew I was in trouble. At some point, I passed out from the pain and my buddies were able to locate me thanks to the headlight remaining ‘ON’ after the crash…(remember this was at nightime)I woke up in the hospital so loaded up on Opiates that I could hardly speak.

Needless to say, after two weeks in the hospital, I was more than ready to go home. I was not however prepared for the hell which I was about to endure, trying to stop using the pain medicine only further impacted the issue. I was loaded up on Opiates and the only assistance offered by the Dr. was even stronger pain meds. From Vicodin to Norco. From Norcos to Oxy’s… Still in pain, the “Dr.” (intentionally air quoted, as my definition of a Dr. is a ‘healer’, not a pill pushing legalized drug dealer)charged me an additional $100 (remember , NO INSURANCE, this is all paid in CASH)and he added steroid injections to the mix. Still in pain, now addicted to pain meds of steadily increasing doses… Still in pain! Finally, the Dr says surgery is the only option left.

I didn’t like the idea of joining the ranks of the addiction addled masses. I remembered having a supply of the ‘miracle oil’ stashed away in my wall safe. I started treatment right away. Several days later, I flushed the pain pills and have a rough few days of irritability and the sweats,shaking, headaches, vommitting and so forth… but NO PAIN. After a few more days, I felt right as rain. I still took it easy as much as I could, figuring that my body was in a healing phase.

A month later, I started lowering my doses and when I ran out of oil, I didn’t miss the doses, I was not sick, there were no withdrawls (like with the opiates), AND THE PAIN HAD GONE AWAY. I could walk, sit, stand… without pain. I took it easy as best I could for about 6 months, just to be sure that I gave body time to heal itself. I have the occasional tinge of pain, but NOTHING close to what I had experienced before.

I attribue the cannabis oil to saving my life on TWO occasions. It’s difficult to recommend to people, being that it’s ILLEGAL thanks to our insane laws regarding anything that doesn’t make Big Pharma more money… Having experienced the healing powers, I wanted to help others. This resulted in felony charges, not to mention jail time (all for trying to procure plant material for a very sick neighbor with terminal cancer) I learned to be careful about offering assistance. Shamefully, I have had relegated myself to only making the recomendation anonymously. Sometimes, I mail sick friends information with no return address… Whatever I have to do to let others know, without further putting myself in harms way… Not because I can’t handle the heat mind you… but my family needs me and I do them no good from a jail cell.

Don’t take my word for it. Watch the video, do the research and come to your own conclusions. If you decide to give it a go, I highly suggest growing the plants yourself, rather than encouraging the drug cartels. In some states, you can get a permit to grow your own plants.

I love your blogs, your writing is entertaining and speaks to the average cook, like me. I thank you for the entertainment and the laughs and above all else, I HOPE YOU FIND THE SOLUTION YOU’VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR! I wish you HEALTH & HAPPINESS (without blowing out your liver) May you find the relief you deserve!
MexanonymouseMe