So… L-5 S-1 disc blow out…

Pain Scale 1 to 10

One to Ten... But they didn't tell you a thing about Eleven to Twenty did they?
One to Ten… But they didn’t tell you a thing about Eleven to Twenty did they?

I suppose if you have ever wound up with an injury that required a doctors attention you’ve seen this… The stupid smiley face pain scale from 1 to 10 Well let me tell you something, Just like Dr. Seuss told us about on beyond Zebra I’m going to tell you about… 11 to 20….

Pain Scale 11 to 20

I’ll only hit the highlights because honestly I’m already bored with writing this article… I mean really… How long could I go on with this $h!t? 10 or so months into being off work and in pain and it’s like I don’t care anymore, However:

11… I’m going to die.

11 Holy $h!t I don't believe this, I think I'm going to die.
11 Holy $h!t I don’t believe this, I think I’m going to die.

So you thought it could not get any worse well guess what… It could and it did… That corkscrew they been winding down your femur? Well someone found a blow torch and they’re warming it up for you.

15… I’m not here anymore


The hell you say
The hell you say. I’m checking out.


At pain scale 15 your brain no longer functions quite right as a matter of fact it doesn’t really hurt anymore in the dimension you inhabit… You are someplace else and the pain is happening to someone else. Someplace deep inside you pray for death but who really cares anymore.

20… Pain… I love pain.

20 I'm fine no really FINE...
20 I’m fine no really, I’M FINE…

At 20 there is no longer a problem, there is no thought there is no pain, somewhere you are screaming but there is no sound… This state only lasts for a few micro seconds before there is blackness… If you are very lucky you will not wake up… Unfortunately I’m not a lucky guy.

It’s been years but I clearly don’t remember this at all… But then again I do. in 2006 I had a kidney stone and as it was working it’s way from my kidney to my bladder I prayed for death… Didn’t work, there was no God.

I asked for Dilaudid (Hydromorphone Hydrochloride)  but the doctor at the ER did not understand what I was saying and I honestly don’t know if they gave me anything at all.

I don’t know how it was that I came back from this but it was gone almost as quickly as it came on… They assumed I passed the stone… I was wondering who had pissed in my pants.

Before they let me go, I guess to add insult to injury, the doctor examined my prostate as my beautiful young wife looked on… I think he was queer but who knows.

The pain was terrible but that point that I began to fade was even worse… I did not care at all… Not caring is such a lonely place. Next time I think I’ll check out at 15.

 Lucky for me the past 10 months the pain has hovered between a 6 and a 9… But man is it dragging on.  I’m just tired is all and I offer this POS Article in lieu of something more interesting because I’m sick of it all.

Sorry… Perhaps I’ll get a grip soon.